Three's a Crowd

Matthew 18:15-20

I love my daughter’s children, …… but. What a horrible way to start a sermon. Who doesn’t love their grandchildren? Andy and I ride bikes together. Austin thinks Woody Guthrie is the world’s greatest song writer. And then there is Siddalee. She is Janis Joplin before drugs. My grandchildren are creative, active, and sometimes very loud. I love them equally, especially when I get them one on one. I even do well when I’m playing with any combination of two.  But when the three of them are together; watch out. It is amazing the disruptive force that erupts when those three are occupying the same space. Sometimes it frightens me. I have been known to run to my bedroom, lock the door, and put myself in timeout. So don’t tell me when two or three are gathered, something good is about to happen. I know better. When I was young I heard Deep Purple. The decibel level of that concert does not begin to compare with the Paukert children when they gather in the same room. They play together so well in pairs. But when the third joins they go at it like …… adults.

Isn’t it precious how children imitate us? It seems in the adult world the only time anyone can agree is when they are by themselves. I believe if you put any three adults together and talk about sports, religion, or politics you will end up with five different opinions. Arguing is our national pastime. If you are not arguing with someone it is only because no one is talking to you. This is not something that just happened overnight. According to our scripture this has been going on since the time of Jesus. People argue. People get their feelings hurt. So what happens next?

This is one of those times when our scripture works best when we explore what is on both sides of the text we read. What you probably heard was, “If a member sins against you, point out their fault and see if they agree. If not, repeat the charge in the front of two folks. If the guilty will still not listen, wipe your hands of them. But if the two of you agree and if you are gathered in God’s name, you will be blessed.

That sounds pretty cut and dried. Any child can understand these conditions. Tell someone they hurt you. If they deny it, accuse them in the midst of a crowd. If they deny it again, tell them to take a hike. Then find some folks you really like and sing all three verses of Jesus Loves Me.

If it were only that simple. Let’s back up the bus to verse 18. “There was a shepherd who had 100 sheep. When he got home that evening, one of the sheep was missing. The shepherd went back into the mountains in the middle of the night to find the lost lamb. When he found the sheep, he rejoiced more over the reckless one than the 99 that never went astray. Remember, it is not the will of God that anyone should be lost.”

So let’s read between the lines. Do not think for one moment that Jesus was claiming the lost sheep was innocent. The rules were, stay in the flock, don’t wander off, and you will have a pretty good day. But this sheep got distracted. Maybe he saw some grass just over the hill that looked great. Maybe he stayed too long at the water hole. Maybe he was just too lazy to keep up. Whatever happened, it was not the fault of the shepherd. When you have 100 sheep it is hard to keep your eyes on everyone. Every member of the flock has to take responsibility for his own actions. But when the sheep turned up missing, blame no longer mattered. Now the shepherd had to make a decision. Why risk your neck going back out in the dark when you did everything right but someone else screwed up. Why not leave them? It’s their problem, let them fix it. That is what many of us would do. But God holds us to a higher standard. God expects us to make things right even if we are innocent. Let me put that in stronger words. God expects us to make things right especially if we are innocent.

Now let’s go back to verse 20. A person in the church has sinned against you. Another way of putting it is you get along great with 99 folks but there is this one guy that just has you in his crosshairs. You try to avoid him but that makes the situation even more awkward. Then Jesus has the nerve to say, “Go have a private talk with him.”

Now before you have that conversation I would remind you the Bible was not written by George Mason. You remember George Mason. He possessed the fervor but perhaps not the tact of his friend from Charlottesville. While Jefferson spoke eloquently of the rights of the individual, Mason was much more direct. Standing to speak against King George, Mason said, “Since the king’s will not be punished in the next world, it is up to us to punish him now.”

We applaud this sort of bombastic rhetoric. If we have been dishonored, let’s take a no prisoners. Let’s shame the person who harmed us. If my enemy is brutalized in the exchange, that is just too bad. They stepped over the line and need to be held accountable.

We believe when we confront another person, our primary goal is preserving truth. He did something wrong. We want a confession and we want satisfaction. That is the way we do things here in America. But Jesus didn’t grow up in Kansas. Jesus expects something different. Jesus wants the dignity of the guilty to be preserved.

If I have held you attention up to this moment your inner psyche is probably screaming, “Why would Jesus want me to do that?” The answer is something we might not want to hear. Jesus favors the wellness of the community over the rights of any individual.

Jesus says to us, “You know he is wrong and he knows he is wrong. But why do you want to ruin a relationship? Swallow your pride. Let him keep his. Give reconciliation a chance.”

We like celebrating the good news of the gospel. Here are some tough words from that same gospel. When we bind ourselves to Christ, we bind ourselves to the one who lived and died for the reconciliation of the world. When we bind ourselves to Christ, we are not free from each other, we are free in each other. We are not dependent on sameness but rather a diversity that allows us to see beyond our individual wants and needs.  When someone  puts themselves first, when someone harms another, Christ wants us to heal the wound rather than amputate the guilty.

How did I come to this outrageous conclusion? I read my bible. In the next verse Peter said, “This is tough stuff. Are you saying I’m supposed to forgive my adversary up to seven times?” 

We all know the answer without me sharing it.

The church is fundamentally a place where two or three, or twenty or a hundred folks with different stories and different opinions come together in mutual interdependence under Christ. That means that I am not as important as We. That means I have to trust folks who think differently than me. This means there will occasionally be conflict. So how will we the church model our conflict in a world which seems to have run out of options?

Paul writes, “Our whole creation has been groaning hoping for what it has not seen.” What the world has seen is too much revenge. What the world has heard is too much righteous indignation. But what the world seldom witnesses is a reconciliation that begins by placing our pride on the back burner. How do we do that?  

Can you multiplying seventy times seven?      Amen