Sunday, May 13, 2012

Love is not Burdensome


John 15:9-17; I John 5:1-6

        The writer of First John makes an incredible statement that each of you who is a mother or father completely understands.  As confusing and contrary as children can be, loving them  is not a burden. From the moment our first child was born we realized that our lives were never going to be the same.  Personal freedom was understood differently. Budgets were radically changed.  This bundle of joy, this precious and venerable life gave new meaning to who we were and who we had the possibility of becoming.
        Bare with me on this Mother’s day while I tell you the story of a father who was a dear friend of mine.  Monty was a giant among men.  As a young man he excelled in athletics.  On finishing high school he joined the Army and eventually was placed in charge of the Honor Guard at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier in Arlington.  No ordinary man is given that honor. After his enlistment was up Monty married Floridel and became the foreman at his father-in-laws saw mill.  He worked hard, raised a family and became a member of the local Presbyterian Church.  A real outdoorsman, Monty loved to fish and play golf.  More than once he told me of the week-end he shot 71-69 to win his club championship at the age of 51.  Most of the players in contention were twenty years younger than he.  Monty eventually took over the saw mill, spent 30 years as the clerk of session his church, fished and played golf when time allowed but most importantly Monty raised his children.  The first two were no more trouble than any other pair of kids.  But Christi was born after Floridel and Monty had turned 40.  To complicate matters, Christi was born with Down’s syndrome.  Monty and Floridel were certainly not the first parents in their 40’s to give birth to a Down’s baby.  Their care and love of Christi was no better than any other parents facing this situation.  Every parent who wants to be a good parent makes sacrifices.  Christi’s birth completely turned their lives around.  Monty the sportsman became Monty the connoisseur of art as each day he and Christi would color pictures from one of Christi’s favorite coloring books.  Monty the gamesman became Monty the card shark as he and Christi played their own particular brand of solitaire for 40 years.  Most of us live for the day when our children sprout wings and fly, hopefully with the intention of bringing us grandchildren that we can spoil.  Christi is now in her late 40’s.  She still has the mind of a child.  She still lives at home.  When I first met Monty, he told me he and Floridel had given their Down’s child the name Christi because each day she would remind them of the love of Christ.  He then said, “I am not sure of much but I know this, raising Christi has never been a burden.  It has only been a joy.” 
        When I read the 15th chapter of John and come across the words, “No one has greater lover than this than to lay down one’s life for a friend” I used to never think about folks like Monty and Floridel Bristow.  My mind would be immediately drawn to the great martyrs’ of the faith.  I would think of Dietrich Bonheoffer, the Lutheran minister who was executed in a Nazi prison just days before the end of the war.  I would think of Martin Luther King being shot outside his motel on that April morning in Memphis before going out to walk with sanitation workers.  I would think of Oscar Romero being assassinated as he was celebrating communion on Easter Sunday with the poor in San Salvador.   I know we all have images of a hero who gave up his or her life for a noble cause.  Their act of heroism lifts them beyond the ordinary, into a realm that we assume none of us will be called to occupy.  I would suggest this morning while we need to celebrate the sacrifice of folks like Bonheoffer, King and Romero, it is just as important that we remember that most acts of sacrifice are preformed by ordinary folks like Monty and Floridel Bristow and by folks like you and me.    
        Of course ordinary folks don’t make the headlines. Ordinary folks do the things that are seldom noticed and certainly not newsworthy.  I heard the other day that Terrell Owens, soon to be Hall of Fame football player, can not pay child support for his five out of wedlock children.  He is being sued by the four mothers.  T.O. was an extraordinary football player but somehow I imagine each of those children would trade all of his awards for just an ordinary dad.  Ordinary folks make sacrifices.  Ordinary folks are seldom celebrities.  Ordinary folks make ordinary decisions, lead ordinary lives and end up having extraordinary children, at least in their eyes. 
        I believe that is why God loves the church.  God seems to make it a habit to choose ordinary folks to do the important things in this life, such as raising children, keeping one’s word, and treating neighbors as if they were one of the family.  Perhaps that is why Jesus said, “You did not choose me but I chose you.” 
        Once upon a time, when sports were still a game and not a pipe dream to greater opportunities, children used to gather in fields and choose sides for which ever athletic endeavor was in season.  You didn’t get to pick your team.  The captain would decide.  In a painstaking process in which friendship and abilities were often pitted against each other, the captain had the task of picking a team capable of demolishing the foe.  The first picks were easy.  But when the skill players had been selected it came down to choosing which person would be less of a liability.  These folks were carefully selected because while it was well documented each afternoon that the stars would shine, the games were often won and lost based on the skills of the ordinary players.  Who would step up?  Who would prove not to be a burden?  Who would play for just the love of the game?
        Jesus said to his disciples and to us, “I choose you.  I choose you ordinary folks to do an extraordinary task.  I choose you to make love the centerpiece of your life.”
        Remember when we were all young and stupid and thought love only meant one thing.  I look at young folks today playing the dating game and I feel for them.  I am sure the process is no less awkward that it was when I was their age.  But then we got older and wiser and learned love had a multitude of meanings.  Some really smart folks even attached three different Greek words to better define what we were experiencing.  Eros defined young lovers, philia described the relationship of friends and agape was that spiritual ability to completely give yourself to another freely, without restraint or regret.  We began to understand that love is the most powerful and the most powerfulness of all emotions.   Love is powerful enough to conquer another human heart.   Love is humble enough to do nothing except by consent. 
        Then, as age took its toll and the romantic flame in us began to flicker, love once again has one primary definition.  Love is no longer a warm fuzzy emotion but a deliberate act of our will.  Love now is defined by the way we love our neighbor.  Love is defined as our willingness to lay down our lives for each other.  Love is loving each other as God continues to love us.
        I like to think that is the legacy that each of us leaves on this earth.  How do we ordinary, run of the mill folk love our neighbor.  Or perhaps even more important, how do we ordinary, run of the mill folks love people we don’t even particularly like. 
        I remember that old 60’s anthem written by Peter Scholtes. You probably remember the chorus, “They will know we are Christians by our love.”  I was always impressed with the verse.  “We will walk with each other,
        we will work with each other,
                we will guard each others dignity
                        and save others pride.” 
        Why?
                Because we are one in the spirit.      
        Why?
                Because we are ordinary people chosen by God.
        Why?
                Because somewhere along the way we discovered loving as God would have us love is never a burden.
                And that makes us extraordinary.  
                                                                                Amen.
             

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