John 15:9-17; I
John 5:1-6
The writer of First John makes an
incredible statement that each of you who is a mother or father completely understands. As confusing and contrary as children can be,
loving them is not a burden. From the
moment our first child was born we realized that our lives were never going to
be the same. Personal freedom was
understood differently. Budgets were radically changed. This bundle of joy, this precious and
venerable life gave new meaning to who we were and who we had the possibility
of becoming.
Bare with me on this Mother’s day while
I tell you the story of a father who was a dear friend of mine. Monty was a giant among men. As a young man he excelled in athletics. On finishing high school he joined the Army
and eventually was placed in charge of the Honor Guard at the Tomb of the
Unknown Soldier in Arlington. No ordinary man is given that honor. After
his enlistment was up Monty married Floridel and became the foreman at his
father-in-laws saw mill. He worked hard,
raised a family and became a member of the local Presbyterian Church. A real outdoorsman, Monty loved to fish and
play golf. More than once he told me of
the week-end he shot 71-69 to win his club championship at the age of 51. Most of the players in contention were twenty
years younger than he. Monty eventually
took over the saw mill, spent 30 years as the clerk of session his church,
fished and played golf when time allowed but most importantly Monty raised his
children. The first two were no more
trouble than any other pair of kids. But
Christi was born after Floridel and Monty had turned 40. To complicate matters, Christi was born with
Down’s syndrome. Monty and Floridel were
certainly not the first parents in their 40’s to give birth to a Down’s
baby. Their care and love of Christi was
no better than any other parents facing this situation. Every parent who wants to be a good parent
makes sacrifices. Christi’s birth completely
turned their lives around. Monty the
sportsman became Monty the connoisseur of art as each day he and Christi would
color pictures from one of Christi’s favorite coloring books. Monty the gamesman became Monty the card
shark as he and Christi played their own particular brand of solitaire for 40 years. Most of us live for the day when our children
sprout wings and fly, hopefully with the intention of bringing us grandchildren
that we can spoil. Christi is now in her
late 40’s. She still has the mind of a
child. She still lives at home. When I first met Monty, he told me he and
Floridel had given their Down’s child the name Christi because each day she
would remind them of the love of Christ.
He then said, “I am not sure of much but I know this, raising Christi has
never been a burden. It has only been a
joy.”
When I read the 15th chapter
of John and come across the words, “No one has greater lover than this than to
lay down one’s life for a friend” I used to never think about folks like Monty and
Floridel Bristow. My mind would be immediately
drawn to the great martyrs’ of the faith.
I would think of Dietrich Bonheoffer, the Lutheran minister who was
executed in a Nazi prison just days before the end of the war. I would think of Martin Luther King being
shot outside his motel on that April morning in Memphis before going out to walk with
sanitation workers. I would think of
Oscar Romero being assassinated as he was celebrating communion on Easter
Sunday with the poor in San Salvador. I know we all have images of a hero who gave
up his or her life for a noble cause.
Their act of heroism lifts them beyond the ordinary, into a realm that
we assume none of us will be called to occupy.
I would suggest this morning while we need to celebrate the sacrifice of
folks like Bonheoffer, King and Romero, it is just as important that we remember
that most acts of sacrifice are preformed by ordinary folks like Monty and
Floridel Bristow and by folks like you and me.
Of course ordinary folks don’t make the
headlines. Ordinary folks do the things that are seldom noticed and certainly
not newsworthy. I heard the other day
that Terrell Owens, soon to be Hall of Fame football player, can not pay child
support for his five out of wedlock children.
He is being sued by the four mothers.
T.O. was an extraordinary football player but somehow I imagine each of
those children would trade all of his awards for just an ordinary dad. Ordinary folks make sacrifices. Ordinary folks are seldom celebrities. Ordinary folks make ordinary decisions, lead
ordinary lives and end up having extraordinary children, at least in their
eyes.
I believe that is why God loves the
church. God seems to make it a habit to
choose ordinary folks to do the important things in this life, such as raising
children, keeping one’s word, and treating neighbors as if they were one of the
family. Perhaps that is why Jesus said,
“You did not choose me but I chose you.”
Once upon a time, when sports were still
a game and not a pipe dream to greater opportunities, children used to gather
in fields and choose sides for which ever athletic endeavor was in season. You didn’t get to pick your team. The captain would decide. In a painstaking process in which friendship
and abilities were often pitted against each other, the captain had the task of
picking a team capable of demolishing the foe.
The first picks were easy. But
when the skill players had been selected it came down to choosing which person
would be less of a liability. These
folks were carefully selected because while it was well documented each
afternoon that the stars would shine, the games were often won and lost based
on the skills of the ordinary players.
Who would step up? Who would
prove not to be a burden? Who would play
for just the love of the game?
Jesus said to his disciples and to us,
“I choose you. I choose you ordinary
folks to do an extraordinary task. I
choose you to make love the centerpiece of your life.”
Remember when we were all young and
stupid and thought love only meant one thing.
I look at young folks today playing the dating game and I feel for
them. I am sure the process is no less
awkward that it was when I was their age.
But then we got older and wiser and learned love had a multitude of
meanings. Some really smart folks even
attached three different Greek words to better define what we were
experiencing. Eros defined young lovers,
philia described the relationship of friends and agape was that spiritual
ability to completely give yourself to another freely, without restraint or
regret. We began to understand that love
is the most powerful and the most powerfulness of all emotions. Love is powerful enough to conquer another
human heart. Love is humble enough to
do nothing except by consent.
Then, as age took its toll and the romantic
flame in us began to flicker, love once again has one primary definition. Love is no longer a warm fuzzy emotion but a
deliberate act of our will. Love now is
defined by the way we love our neighbor.
Love is defined as our willingness to lay down our lives for each
other. Love is loving each other as God
continues to love us.
I like to think that is the legacy that
each of us leaves on this earth. How do
we ordinary, run of the mill folk love our neighbor. Or perhaps even more important, how do we ordinary,
run of the mill folks love people we don’t even particularly like.
I remember that old 60’s anthem written
by Peter Scholtes. You probably remember the chorus, “They will know we are
Christians by our love.” I was always impressed
with the verse. “We will walk with each
other,
we will work with each other,
we will guard each others
dignity
and save others
pride.”
Why?
Because we are one in the
spirit.
Why?
Because we are ordinary people
chosen by God.
Why?
Because somewhere along the way we
discovered loving as God would have us love is never a burden.
And that makes us extraordinary.
Amen.
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